Show your colours

I admit that I am a 'manic-depressive' writer. I either love my writing or hate it.

The extremes change daily and without warning, and lately I've been getting tired of the emotional rollercoaster. This journey is HARD. You want to believe in your talents and your ambitions, but there is always that nagging voice in the back of your mind that says, "Think of everyone else out there...they want this as badly as you...look at all that competition...who do you think you are to believe you may succeed while the rest don't?...why is your story any better than theirs?...stop wasting your time...your days on this earth are numbered...blah...blah...blah."

It is true. Our days on this earth ARE numbered and as a reluctant hypochondriac who is undergoing faith issues, I want to make sure that this existence (the only one I can be sure of right now) counts for something. Does this mean seeking fame or notoriety? As nice as all of that would be, I've come to realize that what I want is to accompish SOMETHING. That something doesn't have to be recognized by anyone other than me, so long as I know that I achieved a goal that I set, and that I am proud of my accomplishment.

How many people go through this life, merely living to get from one day to the next, dreaming of what might be, but never really trying anything because they are afraid, because they are lazy, because they are distracted? How many people regret never taking the chance on that desire that they just couldn't shake? How many people never discover their true potential?

I believe that we are all gifted with an intrinsic set of talents and skills, and that ignoring them means ignoring our very nature. If we are not doing what we were 'made' to do, can we ever truly be happy? Whether you believe in creation or chaos, I'd think we can at least agree that all living beings tend to have a purpose. Why shouldn't that apply to us, the individual 'souls' of the human race? I know it is a romantic notion, but if I've learned anything, it is that all things are possible, and that life is even more wondrous than we can possibly imagine.

Some people are great musicians and make beautiful music. Some people have a unique understanding of this physical universe and invent amazing devices. Some people have an outstanding amount of courage and fight our battles as policemen or soldiers. Some people are able channel passion and life-changing truths through the written word.

I think we all feel the call. Few have the conviction to follow it. I don't even know if I will succeed, but I have to try. Trying is better than giving up. Stubborness comes in handy. So does chocolate.

Believe in your story. Believe in your talents. Maybe success won't necessarily come as you expect. Maybe the process will be the reward--because the person you discover is a person of strength and honesty and wisdom.

The ones who succeed are the ones who didn't try to please the crowd...they did what came naturally, and the power of it shook the world.

One of my favourite bands, Prodigy, says it well: show your colours.

Shake the world with your natural beauty. Whether it is expressed as a story or a song or a picture or even an outfit, let it flow from you. My story has been simmering under the surface for about ten years now. It took the mocking quips of a husband ("Are you going to keep talking about this wonderful story, or are you going to actually WRITE it?") to get my butt, rather my hands, in gear. I was afraid. I still am. But I don't like being mocked. So I have to try. And so do you :)

That's my encouraging rant for the evening. And yes, I am Canadian.